[tense music playing] Tessa.

Hurry up.

The race is about to start.

Khalid, here.

Our strap.

Seriously?

Out of the way, girl.

I got this.

[Todd muttering] Ooh!

[Walking Tessa] We're gonna waste you.

Focus.

Visualise.

-On your marks.

-Sorry.

Yeah.

[Khalid] Ready?

-Set.

-[exhaling] I know, right?

-[Khalid] Go!

-[all] Go.

One, two.

-Do you want me to push you?

-No!

[excited chatter] Go, Tessa!

Come on!

[Walking Tessa] You're on your own bitches.

Wait!

[Walking Tessa giggling] -[Tessa] Wait!

-[Walking Tessa] Whee!

F** my life.

[main theme playing] Ow.

What?

What are you gonna say?

Here you are.

Wow.

That is some shiner you got going there.

You look like a angry panda bear on meth.

That's pretty much how I feel right now.

Ah, well, on the bright side, no one's gonna see it when we're all sitting in darkness.

-What?

-Come on.

We're late.

-Ow!

-[Todd] Jeepers, Tessa.

Lights!

OK, ready?

Are we settled?

Settled, Tessa?

Let's begin.

Oh, lights.

Enjoy the adventure.

[classical music playing over TV] Excuse me.

[video narrator] It's a new and scary world... -What the hell is this?

-Instructional video showing us step-by-step, how we can get it on.

They're assuming, of course, that we want to.

Well, I want to.

What are you doing back?

Well, lovely to see you again too, Tessa.

The reason I'm back is quite complicated.

I'll give you the details later.

But right now, I'm getting the tricks and tips on how to please the ladies.

[laughs] Well... please them more than I already do.

Please, really, I don't-- I don't want to be here, please.

Can I just go to my room, please?

Edward!

Shh!

Hey, boy!

If this doesn't put you off sex forever, nothing will.

John, not sex.

Intimacy, thank you.

...and Guido trusts Anabella enough.

[Anabella] I was worried I might smother him.

Again!

I mean, try explaining that to the police.

Can you imagine?

Oh, but we have fun, don't we, darling?

[Guido] I know I have to work harder to please Anabella because, of course, erm, I can't move.

But what I lack in the mobility department, I think I more than make up for with what does work.

[Guido and Anabella laugh] [Anabella] Oh, darling, you did.

[Guido screams] -[applause] -[Dan] Yeah!

Guido!

Guido!

Guido!

You and that beautiful man should have tried some of those moves.

Might have worked out a bit better for you.

OK, lights.

Thank you.

Fantastic.

Now, I hope that was enlightening for those of you who are struggling with intimacy, now that everything is... different.

That Guido was amazing, eh?

Do you think he survived that 69'ing?

[laughs] OK, OK.

What do you think?

Er, any questions?

Anyone?

No?

Erm, Kun.

-Kun.

Were you pointing at Kun?

-[Dan] No, no, no.

-Patrick?

-No.

Nothing?

Oh, John.

Is that your hand up there?

-[John groans] -John?

Question?

[John] No, no, no.

Oh, Tessa.

I want to know why that was only about men getting off.

Did I miss something?

There weren't any paralysed women in that video.

Where's the one for me?

And for Patsy?

Worked for me.

When's episode two?

[Todd] Mm-mm-mm.

Yes.

It does seem imbalanced from that perspective.

Maybe even outdated.

This whole place is stuck in the Dark Ages.

Oh, do calm down, Tessa.

Er, I'm gonna go.

Calm down?

[Todd] Yes, just calm down.

Thank you, Tessa.

I can't work.

I can't look after my kid.

I can't take shower without giving myself a f**ing black eye.

I might have some terrible disease that no one knows anything about.

And to top it off, I'm stuck in here with you people.

So f** you, Todd.

Do we need to have this conversation in the Wellness Caravan, Tessa?

F** your stupid caravan.

No.

What do you mean, no?

No means no, Todd.

I do not consent.

Thank you, Khalid.

-[farts] -Sorry.

-Sorry.

-Sorry.

Hey, there.

Hey.

You calmed down yet?

Nah.

But at least when I'm in the pool, I can forget for a second that I can't walk.

For once, I agree with Todd.

You really need to change that record.

Well, that makes you both knobheads.

-Hi, Karen.

-[Karen] Tessa.

What's the matter, John?

Not going to the pools today?

Oh.

Just not, like, that comfortable with swimming at the moment.

What, are you scared of the water or something?

Yeah, it's not the water, Karen.

It's what might happen in the water.

Right.

Yeah, OK.

You know what?

I might have something to help with that.

Leave it with me.

I'll sort you out.

Hey, how come only the hot male patients get massages from the OTs?

Can the rest of us get in on that action?

I'm not sure.

You'd have to ask them.

[Tessa] I'm not a hot guy, so... I already know what the answer will be.

You could make a suggestion to the hospital administration.

Like I need anyone's permission.

[phone line rings] [Edward] Well, er, thanks for visiting, Rebekah.

It was really-- It was really good to see you.

Bye, Edward.

I'll see you next week when we get back from Festival One.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, that sounds great.

OK, yeah.

-OK.

-Yeah.

-It was good to see you.

-You too.

Bye.

Looks like someone's got themselves a wee girlfriend.

We're just friends, John.

That card says 'love', Ed.

It's like a friend love.

Maybe for you.

But for Becky, I'm not so sure it means 'friend' love.

You should, er... put a wee photo of Becky in your Youth Bible.

Oh.

Here's trouble.

-Ooh.

-What happened to your eye, Mum?

Oh, nothing.

I just, er, smudged some mascara, that's all.

It looks like someone punched you.

I'm fine.

Now, what's going on with you?

Can't wait for camp now.

There's going to be a big costume party at the last night.

And there's gonna be prizes and stuff.

Cool.

So, what are you gonna go as?

-Me?

-Yeah.

It's-- Is it for parents too?

I'll have to think about that one.

You are still coming?

Yeah.

Of course.

Hope so.

What do you mean?

Baby, can we talk about something else?

You promised, Mum.

You have to come.

Stop going on about it, OK?

I got bigger things to worry about than stupid school camp.

It's not stupid!

You're stupid!

Just don't talk to me like that.

I don't want you to come anyways.

You can't even walk.

[sombre music playing] No, you need to get me now, Dad.

I want to go home, OK?

I'll wait out the front.

What are you doing here?

[zipper rasps] I'd better go.

Mum's being really mean.

About what?

School camp.

She promised she would come, but now it's like she doesn't even want to.

She yelled at me.

Maybe it's more like she can't go, kid.

But why not?

Well, they're still trying to figure out what's wrong exactly.

Is she gonna get better?

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe not.

[electronic music playing] Nice one.

Now you've upset Poppy too.

Is that all you've got to say?

Oh, that's very f**ing helpful.

Still talking to yourself?

Do you want a massage?

What?

From you?

Ew.

No.

I got a guy coming in.

I want to make it worth his while, so I'm taking bookings.

Do you want one?

He's really good.

A guy?

Yeah, no, thanks.

It's not that kind of massage.

It's therapeutic.

Hey, I just, erm, ran into your kid before.

She's, er, pretty upset.

Yeah, I know.

We had a fight, but she'll get over it.

Yeah, not so sure.

The thing is, we had a bit of a chat.

Do you want a massage or not, John?

Er, yeah.

As long as there's no funny business.

Great.

Ask Ed.

Maybe it'll cheer him up.

OK.

[Khalid] One, two.

Nice, yeah.

Sit up straight.

Ed.

Come on, you can do this.

Concentrate.

Sorry.

I'm just-- I'm not in the mood for this.

What's up?

Nothing.

Talk to me.

Oh, I can't.

Hey, it's me.

You trust me, right?

So?

How do you know when you like someone?

Me?

Well, I guess it's kind of like a feeling.

Like a warm feeling in your stomach when you see them or talk to them or think about them.

Why?

Do you like someone, Ed?

No.

No, no.

I'm gonna go back to my room now.

-Come on, we're not done yet.

-Bye.

Watch out.

Watch out.

[clicks tongue] [sighs] [Tessa] Oh, God.

You finished?

Can you wait?

I'm not gonna get my gear off.

Well, good.

Brilliant.

-I should probably go.

-[Tessa] Yeah, that'd be great.

-Righty-o.

I'm backing off.

-[Tessa] Thank you.

But leave the door open.

That's brilliant.

[John] Can't shut it.

[Tessa groans] [Tessa] Mama.

Good, right?

[Tessa] You're next.

[Edward] Oh, I'm-- I'm not sure.

I've never had a massage before.

What do I do?

You just f**ing lie there.

-[Edward] Oh.

-That's it.

Well, I've never had one from a guy before.

He's got very, very strong hands.

I'll give him that.

He does.

Go on.

You're gonna love it, Ed.

-Yeah?

-[Tessa] Yeah.

OK-- Can you wait?

I only have one hand, and mine's not electric.

-[John] Yeah.

-Fuck's sake.

-[Edward] Hi.

-G'day.

Have you spoken to Poppy yet?

No.

[indistinct chatter] You just need to talk to her, that's all.

Oh, kia ora e te whanau.

Hello, family.

How are we?

-Great, how are you?

-Hey, Todd.

How are you, man?

Er, good, thank you.

Excuse me, I need to get into the workshop.

-Mm.

Something in there.

-[Tessa] Where?

-[Todd] Ooh.

-Workshop stuff, I think.

-There's workshop mechanics... -[John] Wheelchair maintenance.

Excuse me.

Hello?

[Edward] Er... don't come in!

Don't come in!

This is you, isn't it, Rivers?

I was sore.

John's sore.

We're all sore, Todd.

Well, not the beautiful people.

They're fine.

What does that mean?

Only hot guys get massages from the OTs, right?

You just need to ask them to include it into your physio.

Oh, it's that easy.

Wilson has poked, prodded, yanked, pulled, squished, and electrocuted you.

She's electrocuted me, and not once has she mentioned massage as an option.

Correct.

Those are all appropriate forms of therapy.

[Edward] Stop, stop!

No!

Er, I'm sorry, it's just not meant to do that.

-It just happened.

-Excuse me.

[Edward] Ah!

Don't look!

Tessa.

Did you get my email?

Did you receive it?

I did.

I did.

Have you had a chance to print it?

-Because I-- -No, I... Thank you for not subjecting me to another pointless telling off in Todd's ego-camper.

-This... -[sighs] Do you guys want to kick off, or shall I start?

You're not comfortable with silence, are you, Tessa?

You like distraction.

[objects crash] It was a massage.

It was enjoyable.

Even for Ed.

You're constantly distracting yourself from what's really going on.

-Here we go.

-[Todd] Tessa.

This is a therapeutic community.

Doesn't feel very therapeutic, Father Time.

And your attitude is starting to affect everyone.

Something needs to change.

But what will that something be?

Until you come to terms with your prognosis, Tessa, we feel that we can't-- We can't help you unless you are willing to accept your situation.

[laughs] -[claps hands] -Preach.

Ain't that the truth.

You know what?

I'm gonna write about this place because people need to know what an absolute s** show you're running.

If you truly don't believe that we can help you... Yeah, land the plane.

...then there's no need for you to stay.

[laughs] What?

We're discharging you, Tessa.

-[Todd] The papers too.

-[Dr Jerry] Yeah.

I've got these, Todd.

If that's what you really want, you're free to go.

[laughs] Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, that-- Yeah.

Yeah, actually.

It's perfect.

Thanks.

Laters.

[panting] So, what do you think?

We lost momentum because of your pause.

You know, maybe an open-door policy in the Spinal Unit.

You know what I mean?

No, I just wanted her to have time.

[Tessa] Feedback.

Jesus Christ, woman!

Watch out.

Good news, John.

You can go swimming.

What, you found a solution to my, erm... issue?

I believe that I have, yes.

Ta-da.

A butt plug?

Yeah.

For you a**hole.

For your butt.

-Stop you from pooing... -Yeah, yeah.

-...in the water.

-Yeah, I get it.

-OK.

-OK.

Just-- Well, do you want to-- No, I'll keep hold of it.

Yeah, yeah.

You're right.

OK.

Where are you going?

I'm out of here.

[John] They kicked you out, right?

Well, they did me a favour.

Just move, John!

I hate it here!

You're right.

It's awful.

But that's life.

A constant stream of s** moments with occasional spells of relief.

Even if that means you have to shove a plug up your butt to go swimming.

What?

Face it, Tessa.

You might never get out of that wheelchair.

[Walking Tessa] Don't listen to him, babe.

You run like the wind while you still can.

Stop telling me to run.

Oh, f** sake!

I have to do everything.

[John] Hey!

Where are you going?

Laters!

Ka-keets.

Bye, bitches, Maori Barbie.

Laters, David.

-Whoo!

-Be free.

[yells] Champion.

Champion.

[dings bell] What are you gonna do about it?

Nothing.

[percussive music playing] [sniffles] [Karl's voice] Yo, it's Karl.

Can't get to the phone.

You know what to do.

[ringing] Hey, Mum.

Hey, baby.

Is Dad around?

Yeah.

He's packing the car for school camp.

Oh.

-He's going now?

-Yeah.

And we're leaving as soon as he's finished.

That's good, babe.

You guys will have heaps of fun.

Don't worry, it's better you stay there anyway.

Until you get better.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm really sorry.

It's not your fault.

No, about this morning.

Yelling at you.

I'm not-- I'm not feeling so good.

I get it, Mum.

John told me everything about you and what's wrong with you.

And that you punched yourself in the face.

[laughs] He did?

Yeah, and I know it's gonna take longer for you to get better.

I really love you, you know.

Love you too.

Do you want me to tell Dad to call you back?

No, no.

I'm good.

You guys have fun, hey?

Bye, baby.

Bye.

[Khalid] Where are you off to?

[crying] I don't know!

Hey, it's OK.

No, it's not.

I give up.

I can't do it.

I can't.

It's not OK.

I can't do it!

I don't know what to do!

I give up!

[Khalid] Oh.

I've made a huge d** of myself, eh?

You're not the first.

You won't be the last.

[sobs] What about we go back inside?

Yeah?

-OK.

-Yeah?

OK, let's go.

You're good.

[Khalid] So how are we today?

I'm gonna try real hard not to f** it up for myself.

Good to hear.

I knew you'd be back, girl.

And look.

I'm swimming.

Thanks to Nurse Karen's butt plug.

[inaudible] -[nurse] Huh, are we done?

-[laughter] This good?

Oh s**!

S**!

S**!

Code brown!

Code brown!

Get them out!

Code brown!

Code brown!

Get out of the water!

[Khalid] Let's go.

[Walking Tessa] Look at you, you chicken.

You are literally swimming around in s**.

Yup.

I'm a chicken in s**.

[mellow surf music playing] [main theme playing]